Why Don't You Write Me?

Last night when I laid my head down on my pillow I was feeling a bit discouraged. So as I often do I asked God to come to me and bring hope and compassion to me while I slept. Now I know that when I ask God to meet me in the middle of the night, I am always hoping that I well have sweet dreams and be refreshed when I wake. However, that is usually not what actually happen. Very often I will have a dream that wakes me up and then I am wide awake. Being awake is a good thing but I resist when it is 2:00 AM. So I woke up from a dream that I was having and in the dream I was sitting with a friend who was reading my journal and weeping over my life. I have learned from these experiences that it is best to have a conversation with God and ask for insight about my life rather than be frustrated about my inability to fall back to sleep. This is another way that I have been learning to listen to God in my life. As I lay there in bed listening I felt the presence of the Lord and saw that the compassionate friend was a representation of God. I was very comforted by this insight. I tend to not show myself much compassion or allow others to either.

So what did this dream tell me? As I reflected on how I felt in the dream it was clear that I felt, not just listened to but really heard. The friend in my dream was looking at my life with me and saw my pain. I felt the love and compassion of God in that dream.  

Then after much reflection I realized that there was a song running through my head. This also happens often to me during these times. I used to just get annoyed when this occurred because it seems like background noise or racket. But since this has happen so often to me, I have learned to listen instead and ask God why I would be hearing this song right now. Maybe God is trying to tell me something.

The song that I heard was written by, Paul Simon to his wife back in 1970 when they were apart from one another. The name of the song is Why Don’t You Write Me. This statement is repeated over and over in the song. I felt as if God were asking me to get up and write my thoughts back to God. I had been listening and now it was time to respond. I thought about what tomorrow would be like without rest so instead I waited for sleep to come again.

Writing is hard work. I enjoy writing because I gain insight and wisdom through the process. I resist writing because it is hard work. I worry too much about whether anyone will read what I write. So this blog is an act of obedience to answer the call of God saying to me, why don’t you write me?

When I was a child my parents had me say a prayer before bed:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

God bless…

This is an okay prayer for a small child but as we grow into maturity with God it is vital that we learn to listen as well. God speaks to us in a variety of ways. God is everywhere! I so long to hear from the Maker of my soul, and yet I am a lazy listener. Jesus went around from town to town and spoke truth to the multitudes and when he was finished he would say who ever has ears let them hear.

God give us eyes to see you, ears to hear you, and a heart that understands.

Anger and Love

Yesterday, before I went to church,  I started my day with a personal study of love. Saint Paul describes love in his letter to the church at Corinth and in this description he states that, “love is not easily angered.” So I looked for a time in Jesus’ life when he got angry, why he got angry, and what he did with his anger. This led me to a day when Jesus was going to the synagogue to worship.

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath  Mark 3:1-6

 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there.  Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath.  Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.” Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent. He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.  Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.

When Jesus entered this place of worship he saw a man with a withered hand and his response was one of compassion and mercy. However, there were people there that were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus of breaking the rules. This meant that if Jesus reached out to the man and healed him, then he would be breaking the rule of healing on the Sabbath.  Jesus knew that he was being closely watched and these people were just itching to find a way to kill him. So what does he do? He parades the guy up in front of everyone making sure they can all see. Then he asks them what they think is the lawful thing to do. Should he do good or do evil; bring life or destroy life. They didn’t have an answer for him. Then we read that Jesus looked at them in anger. His heart was broken over their inability to find love in their hearts in this place of worship. That made Jesus angry! Their hearts were cold and hard. They could not see the suffering man standing before them because they  were preoccupied with finding a way to kill Jesus. Their hearts were filled with anger as well.

So what did Jesus do with his anger? He chose the way of love. He looked at the men who were seeking to kill him and then gave them what they wanted. He chose to do good and to bring life by healing the man’s withered hand. Maybe Jesus thought that by demonstrating this act of love and mercy he would penetrate the stubborn hearts of the Pharisees. Sadly, this is not what happened.

The Pharisees saw this healing miracle as a great way to plan Jesus’ demise. They began to plot a way to kill him. Their anger led them down a very different path than the path of love. They chose the path of evil and destruction. My son Zachary, painted this picture a while back and it shows what happens to us when we let anger lead us toward evil and destruction. The title of the painting is "Anger Eats."

So how does this translate in our lives. When we find ourselves angry toward injustice, how are we to respond? We can choose the way of love and mercy ourselves as Jesus did. When we are filled with anger toward the oppression and hard-heartedness that we see in our world, we can reach out our hands to bring the healing touch of Jesus to those who suffer. Or we can choose the way of the Pharisee and be more concerned with keeping the rules. We can plot the demise of anyone who breaks the rules to oppose injustice.

In the end who won? The Pharisees got what they wanted. Jesus ended up dead. The Pharisees convinced the crowd that Jesus was a blasphemer. He was a troublemaker and needed to be dealt with severely. In the eyes of the religious leaders, it really didn’t matter that Jesus was doing good and bringing life to the masses. He was a dangerous man who had to be stopped. They put him in the grave hoping to solve their problem and yet the power of love broke through when Jesus rose from the dead.

Love is stronger than hate!

Love is the greatest power on earth!

Love overcomes evil!

Love brings life!

Let your anger lead you to love!

He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Perfect Love

Today I woke at 4:30 AM from a very vivid dream. I was in a school classroom with a group of people and there was a fire raging outside the building. The person in charge, which I assume now was the teacher, told us that there were firemen outside working hard to put out the fire and that we would be rescued soon. After what seemed like a very long time of waiting, I started walking around the room looking out of the windows. As I peered through the windows that seemed to surround the room all I could see were billowing flames of fire. It was clear to me that barring a miracle; we were about to be engulfed in the flames ourselves. We all came together in the center of the room and got down on our hands and knees to pray. As I was fervently praying for God to come and save us, I began to feel the heat of the flames and my mind began to race. I was thinking, we are not going to be saved; we are going to burn to death! God was not going to rescue us. Then I woke up.

Upon reflection, I can see this dream as a graphic snapshot of my life. I have been in the classroom of life. The other students are all of humanity. The teacher is Jesus. The firemen represent all of the trappings of the world that we place our hope in to rescue us from our pain and emptiness. The fire itself is the harsh reality of life on earth. Pain and suffering in this world are inescapable. And so that best we can do is to cry out to Jesus to save us. Save us from the flames that are nipping at our necks. Save us from ourselves; from the deeply entrenched fears that we carry with us. My life is messy. I often find myself doubting whether God is going to save me from my own messiness.  Living in fear is worse than dying in flames. None of us has the power to save ourselves from the dangers and pitfalls that this world brings to us. Our only hope is to cling to the love of God that will carry us through the flames.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

                                                                                1 John 4:18