Thursday, January 31, 2013

Who Am I? or The Gospel According to Victor Hugo


Many years ago when I lived in the Los Angeles area, I had the privilege of seeing a live performance of  Les Misérables, or as translated in English The Miserables. Last night Bruce and I went to see the latest re-creation of this powerful story written by Victor Hugo. We were alone in the theatre without the distraction of other people and so I was absorbed in the movie. This is a story that has been told over and over for 151 years. Why has it lasted so long? I believe that the answer to this question is because it speaks to the plight of human suffering at its core. The audience is drawn into the deep well of suffering displayed in all of the characters in this tragedy. It is through their lives that we connect with our own lives and our own suffering. The story unfolds during the French Revolution when the poor and oppressed rise up to fight for a more just and equitable society. We see a man, Jean Valjean, who has been beaten  down by life. He is poor and hungry and so he is reduced to stealing bread to feed his family. He ends up paying dearly for his desperation. He spends nineteen years at hard labor imprisoned for his crime.

When he is finally released from prison he finds refuge in a church. The Bishop who takes him in sees his brokenness and shows him love and compassion (when I was hungry you fed me). And how does Jean Valjean respond to this love? He steals silverware from the church. When he is captured and brought back to Bishop Myriel, the bishop shows the grace of God to him and lies to the police saying that these stolen items are actually gifts. And then in an act of deep mercy he gives Jean Valjean the silver candlesticks that he forgot to steal. The bishop gives everything to this lost and broken man and challenges him to find his soul. Jean Valjean looks up to the heavens and cries out to God, “Who am I” he asks, “Who am I?”  He spends the rest of his life seeking the answer  (seek and you shall find). His response to receiving love and grace from the bishop is to pour out his life for others. He dedicates his life to seeing the plight of others and showing love and compassion to them.

When Jean Valjean is confronted with a woman (Fantine) who has prostituted herself and is about to be arrested, he is shocked to discover that he played a part in her present condition. He is cut to the quick. He sees her and responds with love and compassion by caring for her until her death and then raising the daughter that she left behind. (When I was a stranger you invited me in; when I was naked you clothed me). This man chose to live his life through the eyes of grace and mercy because of the grace and mercy that he had experienced.

There was another man in this story who chose a different path to pursue. His name is Javert. He was Jean Valjean’s captor while he was in prison. He was a man of the law. In his own mind and heart he believed in his cause to bring a man to justice. Jean Valjean was a man on the run throughout the story for falling back into his old thieving ways one more time before his final repentance from this way of life. Javert was not concerned with redemption or transformation for Jean Valjean, rather he was a man of principle and the law ruled his life. Javert was determined to chase Jean Valjean down to the end of his days.  At one point in the story these two men come face to face and Jean Valjean has the chance to kill Javert never to be haunted by him again. Instead, he chooses mercy. He does not see Javert as an evil man or his enemy. He knows that this man is living by his conviction and doing what he believes is right. Sadly, Javert, unable to understand grace and mercy, plunges to his death in despair.

The movie version portrayed each of these characters in there own anguish, looking up to God and searching for their own souls. Each of them looking up to the heavens and asking in there own way:

Who am I?

And

God, who are you and where are you?

Where was God in this story? God is everywhere. God lives in us and through us.  The transformation of Jean Valjean’s life is at the heart of what we all hope for. I know how deeply I need the grace and mercy of God and of people to fall upon me and so I pray that I will see others with eyes of love and compassion rather than with eyes of judgment and condemnation.

Where is God in your story?


For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’  The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.

Matthew 25:35-40

Thursday, January 10, 2013

New Beginnings


The start of a new year always reminds us of our mortality and purpose in life. We seek to make changes to improve our lives and grow into the people we want to be. I am truly thankful for my life and that God has taken my hand to lead me on my journey.  A very real and practical way that God has led me is through the ministry of spiritual direction. I have grown in my awareness of God, myself, and others by leaps and bounds through meeting monthly with a spiritual director.

If you are not aware of the ministry of spiritual direction then here is what it is and why I believe that it is so vital to the health of the people of God and to the world at large. A spiritual director is someone who is called and gifted by God to meet individually with people and listen with them for the movement and direction of God in their lives. Meeting with a spiritual director gives you the opportunity to look deeply into your life and see with new eyes, hear with new ears, and discover what God is up to in your life. Sometimes what God reveals is painful and sometimes what God reveals is delightful. The good news is that God's desire is to bring you freedom, truth, mercy, and love. I have experienced all of this in direction myself and have witnessed this as a director. This is good news! Jesus said that you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. All of us at times have fallen into believing lies about ourselves, about others, and even about God. When these lies get exposed by the light of God, freedom reigns. Knowing the truth about your life can set you free in ways that are unimaginable. Meeting with a spiritual director is a unique experience because your time together is not about what is going on in each other’s lives—rather it is about what is going on in your life. It is about letting God shine the light on you. Sometimes the director will share portions of her life with you if it will be beneficial to your growth. 

I love this ministry and the privilege that I have to meet with people who are seeking after God with all the heart, soul, mind, and strength. It is such a joy to see people grow into their true selves. I have been meeting with people in various locations over the past few years and now I am excited to report that I have an office located on our property. When Bruce and I bought this land seven years ago we prayed over the land that it would bring peace and healing to anyone that God brings to us in this place. This is still my prayer and I am happy that I can continue as a spiritual director on this land.

So if meeting with a spiritual director is something that sounds beneficial to you or if you know of someone who is looking for a spiritual director, my door is open. May God richly bless you in the new year.
Cathy

Cathy Crawford
(360) 852-6882