You've Got A Friend...

You’ve Got A Friend

Last week I was playing around with my iphone and changing the sounds that it makes to get my attention. Sadly, I got sucked into the world of ringtones online. I started looking for a ringtone that would encourage me to answer my phone. I am not a phone person and never have been. When I was a kid growing up, I would ride my bike all over town to go and be with my friends rather than call them on the phone. The phone has always just seemed so impersonal to me. This is one of the downsides to our fragmented culture, that we have resigned ourselves to technology to make contact with one another. I am aware that if I am going to live in this century that I will need to be flexible in how I communicate but I will always prefer human presence over modern technology.

Now, back to the ringtone. I finally landed on a jingle from the song by Carole King, You’ve Got a Friend. This is probably my all time favorite song because it speaks to my soul and touches the deepest part of me. Friends are valuable treasures in life. Some friendships are for a season and others last a lifetime. I am truly thankful for the people in my life that call me their friend. I know that true friendship is costly and so I do not take it lightly when another person chooses to walk in friendship with me. Last night I watched the last movie in the series of the Lord of The Rings and was struck by how the ending of the movie is built around friendships. In one of the final scenes, the hobbit, Sam, is carrying his, friend, Frodo to the top of the volcanic mountain so that Frodo can cast his burden (a ring) into the fire of the mountain and be set free. The beauty of Sam and Frodo’s relationship was that they stuck together through good times and bad times. That is a very difficult journey to take with another.

I read something today written by Joan Chittister that stood out to me in regards to friendship. Friends carry our burdens in their own hearts and give us the wisdom of distance to deal with them. We live in a broken world and all of us are broken people. We need to have friends in our lives that we know will not just enjoy the good side of us but will also endure that dark side of us as well. We all have a dark side that we must face and like Frodo we must find a way to let go of our burdens and be set free. Our friends are those who journey with us to the edge and help is let go of those things that so easily entangle us. Letting go of our burdens is an ongoing process and God gives us a lifetime to practice.

I am thankful to my family and friends who are committed to sticking with me through the good times and the bad times. You are truly my friends and live in the deepest part of my heart.

Throughout the Bible, there are many names for God and the one that has been most powerful to me is Friend. Jesus was called the friend of sinners! Jesus hung out with people that were not considered very loveable but he saw them in their essence. God is my friend. God sees me in all of my darkness and loves me anyway.

What more could I ask for?

When I hear this song I imagine God singing it over me.

When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothin', nothin' is goin' right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name 
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin' to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there 
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow 
Keep your head together 
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am 
I'll come runnin',  
to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will

Now ain't it good to know 
that you've got a friend 
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, yes, and desert you 
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name 
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin,
to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will
You've got a friend.

By the way, I never did get the ringtone to work on my phone but if you call me I will answer.

Blessed Are The Peacemakers...

This morning I attended a Memorial Service for fallen law enforcement officers. Nine years ago my brother-in-law, Brad, was killed in the line of duty. Going to this yearly service always brings back many memories of times past. So many of these memories are painful because the ceremony itself is a reminder of Brad’s memorial service. There are bagpipes playing Amazing Grace, Taps, Roll Call of the fallen officers, and a 21 gun salute. All of these sights and sounds bring back the sharp reality of Brad’s death and the deep sadness we feel from losing him.

Brad and Bruce

After we left the service Bruce and I went out to lunch and reminisced of happier times with Brad. Bruce asked me what my favorite memory of Brad was and I could not name just one. Brad was a very warmhearted man. He had a way of making anyone feel valued in his presence. I had many meaningful conversations with him over the years and enjoyed being with him greatly. He was also a very funny man as well. He knew how to take a situation and create humor that brought life and light-heartedness to all. So most of the time that I reflect on Brad, it is with a smile on my face.

Brad was a peaceful man. This made him an excellent officer because he knew that his duty was to be a catalyst for peace in his community. On the night that he died, he was caught in a domestic situation that had gone from hostile to violent. So much suffering occurred that night for everyone that was there. All of the officers at the scene were seeking a peaceful way to steer the actions of a volatile man in a way that would end in safety and peace. Unfortunately, this is not what happened and many hearts were broken that night. Brad lost his life that night and for those of us that knew him and loved him,  a little piece of us died with him. 

I am thankful for Brad’s life here on earth. He lives on in the lives of his family. His little grandson, and namesake, Bradley was there today sitting on his dad’s lap. He never had the chance to know his grampa. He will grow up hearing about his grampa and the life that his grampa lived and the sacrificial way that he died. He will know his grampa through the memories of his family. Each member of Brad’s family carries a piece of him in their hearts and so he lives on in us.

Not long after Brad died, my daughter, Emily, wrote a song that pretty much says what we feel. I can’t listen to this song without shedding a tear. Here are the lyrics to the song: 

Without You

Daddy I’m hurting,

And the tears still flow.

Nothing’s that easy,

Cause I miss you so.

Child so precious,

I swaddled in blankets.

I never imagined,

You’d leave us so soon.

It’s not that easy to pretend that life is grand,

When we’re still hurting.

And though I try to see the brighter side,

It’s hard to do without you.

Without you.

Without you.

Cause were still getting used to life without you.

Brother I’m trying,

To keep them together.

But the sheep seem to scatter,

When the Shepherd goes home.

And grampa I’m sorry,

That I never knew you.

Cause I was a baby,

When you passed away.

It’s not that easy to pretend that life is grand,

When we’re still hurting.

And though I try to see the brighter side,

It’s hard to do without you.

Without you.

Without you.

Cause were still getting used to life without you.

Still missing you Brad, and feeling cheated by a life cut short...

Fashion Statement

This morning I read the story of David and Goliath and saw something new. Now I have read this story countless times and yet there is always a new way of seeing when we read stories over and over. That is why we can also watch movies many times without getting bored. There always seems to be more to see and grow from in good stories that are told well.

Anyway, back to David. When David was getting ready to fight Goliath, Saul gave David his coat of armor and helmet to wear to fight the giant. After getting all suited up and walking around a bit, David tells Saul, “I cannot go in these, because I am not used to them.”  In the past, I have heard this story described from the pulpit many times and what has been emphasized is the fact that David was young and so the armor was probably to big for him. While this might be true, this is not what the story says. David did not say “This armor doesn’t fit, could you find one my size?” The fact that he was “not used to them” is repeated twice. David was confident and comfortable in his own skin. He knew who he was and was willing to go into battle as David, not wearing someone elses armor.

I have never been much into fashion.

It seems that in our culture we clothe ourselves to go into battle with the world of acceptance. We hang all sorts of items from our bodies as an expression of who we are and how we want to be seen by others. We have all sorts of etiquette when it comes to clothing.

When I was a little girl, I hated Easter because of what I had to wear to church. The fancy dresses were always itchy and uncomfortable. Do I look happy in this photo? I actually liked church but I disliked the fashion statement that I was forced to make. I couldn’t wait to get home and change into comfortable clothing. Those dresses did not express who I was very well. This kind of “dressing up” has never appealed to me. Growing up in the sixties, girls were not allowed to wear pants to school. I hated this rule because it made life difficult on the playground. It is hard to play your best in a dress. When I was in the seventh grade, the school finally changed the dress code for girls allowing us to wear pants to school. I was very excited about this change but my mother was not. She would only let me wear pants on Fridays, however, I finally wore her down.

So, do the clothes that we wear really define who we are?

For David the answer was no. He felt uncomfortable in Saul’s attire. David knew that “the clothing did not make the man.” He was tuned into himself and into the power of the God he loved and served. I seem to recall another time when he was ridiculed for dancing naked before the Lord.

I guess he just wasn’t much into fashion either.

When people see me, I don’t want it to be my clothes that impress them. My desire is to shine the light of God on those I meet along the way. And in turn, I do not want my focus to be on the exterior of others but rather to see them as God sees them.

So what does God see when God is looking at you?

These words from the letter to the church in Galatia say it well:

 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:26-28

May you be clothed in Christ today.

Abba I Belong To You

I was first introduced to the teaching of Brennan Manning in 1985 through a cassette tape. In that message he talked about a way of praying that I have practiced since that day. Breath prayers are prayers that can be recited in one breath. The example that he gave was the prayer Abba, I belong to you. As you breathe in you say “Abba” and as you breathe out you say “I belong to you.” So for the last twenty-eight years, on those nights when falling asleep seemed impossible, I found myself praying Abba, I belong to you. This is a comforting thought that I belong to God and that God loves me like a daddy loves his child. What a beautiful metaphor God has given us to describe what the love of God is like. I don’t have to look to far to see the love of a daddy for his child.

My son, Zachary, is a good daddy. I see how patient and kind is to my two grandsons. My oldest grandson, Noah, is a strong spirited little boy who knows what he wants and has great determination in fulfilling those desires. Sometimes, his daddy has to say no to him and this causes Noah great angst. The process that follows can be quite trying for his parents. And yet, I have watched Zach, and his wife Erika, respond to Noah with strength, kindness, compassion, and love time and time again. This is because they know that Noah is a gift given to them and so they handle him with great care. Noah knows that he belongs to his mom and dad in the since that they are home for him. He knows that he is safe in their arms.

As God’s children we can find that same comfort in our place in God’s kingdom. We can find safety in God’s embrace and know that this is home for us. So if you find yourself worrying about the stresses of life, take a few minutes to remember how deeply you are loved and pray:

Abba, I belong to you…

Today I read of Brennan Manning passing and my heart is filled with gratitude for the courageous way that he lived his life. His life was filled with deep pain and suffering and yet he ran after God through it all. He was not afraid to share his brokenness with anyone who was willing to listen if it could lead them to the loving arms of Jesus. Thank you Brennan for your transparency and your vulnerability. Rest in the arms of your Abba…

Who Am I? or The Gospel According to Victor Hugo

Many years ago when I lived in the Los Angeles area, I had the privilege of seeing a live performance of  Les Misérables, or as translated in English The Miserables. Last night Bruce and I went to see the latest re-creation of this powerful story written by Victor Hugo. We were alone in the theatre without the distraction of other people and so I was absorbed in the movie. This is a story that has been told over and over for 151 years. Why has it lasted so long? I believe that the answer to this question is because it speaks to the plight of human suffering at its core. The audience is drawn into the deep well of suffering displayed in all of the characters in this tragedy. It is through their lives that we connect with our own lives and our own suffering. The story unfolds during the French Revolution when the poor and oppressed rise up to fight for a more just and equitable society. We see a man, Jean Valjean, who has been beaten  down by life. He is poor and hungry and so he is reduced to stealing bread to feed his family. He ends up paying dearly for his desperation. He spends nineteen years at hard labor imprisoned for his crime.

When he is finally released from prison he finds refuge in a church. The Bishop who takes him in sees his brokenness and shows him love and compassion (when I was hungry you fed me). And how does Jean Valjean respond to this love? He steals silverware from the church. When he is captured and brought back to Bishop Myriel, the bishop shows the grace of God to him and lies to the police saying that these stolen items are actually gifts. And then in an act of deep mercy he gives Jean Valjean the silver candlesticks that he forgot to steal. The bishop gives everything to this lost and broken man and challenges him to find his soul. Jean Valjean looks up to the heavens and cries out to God, “Who am I” he asks, “Who am I?”  He spends the rest of his life seeking the answer  (seek and you shall find). His response to receiving love and grace from the bishop is to pour out his life for others. He dedicates his life to seeing the plight of others and showing love and compassion to them.

When Jean Valjean is confronted with a woman (Fantine) who has prostituted herself and is about to be arrested, he is shocked to discover that he played a part in her present condition. He is cut to the quick. He sees her and responds with love and compassion by caring for her until her death and then raising the daughter that she left behind. (When I was a stranger you invited me in; when I was naked you clothed me). This man chose to live his life through the eyes of grace and mercy because of the grace and mercy that he had experienced.

There was another man in this story who chose a different path to pursue. His name is Javert. He was Jean Valjean’s captor while he was in prison. He was a man of the law. In his own mind and heart he believed in his cause to bring a man to justice. Jean Valjean was a man on the run throughout the story for falling back into his old thieving ways one more time before his final repentance from this way of life. Javert was not concerned with redemption or transformation for Jean Valjean, rather he was a man of principle and the law ruled his life. Javert was determined to chase Jean Valjean down to the end of his days.  At one point in the story these two men come face to face and Jean Valjean has the chance to kill Javert never to be haunted by him again. Instead, he chooses mercy. He does not see Javert as an evil man or his enemy. He knows that this man is living by his conviction and doing what he believes is right. Sadly, Javert, unable to understand grace and mercy, plunges to his death in despair.

The movie version portrayed each of these characters in there own anguish, looking up to God and searching for their own souls. Each of them looking up to the heavens and asking in there own way:

Who am I?

And

God, who are you and where are you?

Where was God in this story? God is everywhere. God lives in us and through us.  The transformation of Jean Valjean’s life is at the heart of what we all hope for. I know how deeply I need the grace and mercy of God and of people to fall upon me and so I pray that I will see others with eyes of love and compassion rather than with eyes of judgment and condemnation.

Where is God in your story?

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’  The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.

Matthew 25:35-40

New Beginnings

The start of a new year always reminds us of our mortality and purpose in life. We seek to make changes to improve our lives and grow into the people we want to be. I am truly thankful for my life and that God has taken my hand to lead me on my journey.  A very real and practical way that God has led me is through the ministry of spiritual direction. I have grown in my awareness of God, myself, and others by leaps and bounds through meeting monthly with a spiritual director.

If you are not aware of the ministry of spiritual direction then here is what it is and why I believe that it is so vital to the health of the people of God and to the world at large. A spiritual director is someone who is called and gifted by God to meet individually with people and listen with them for the movement and direction of God in their lives. Meeting with a spiritual director gives you the opportunity to look deeply into your life and see with new eyes, hear with new ears, and discover what God is up to in your life. Sometimes what God reveals is painful and sometimes what God reveals is delightful. The good news is that God's desire is to bring you freedom, truth, mercy, and love. I have experienced all of this in direction myself and have witnessed this as a director. This is good news! Jesus said that you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. All of us at times have fallen into believing lies about ourselves, about others, and even about God. When these lies get exposed by the light of God, freedom reigns. Knowing the truth about your life can set you free in ways that are unimaginable. Meeting with a spiritual director is a unique experience because your time together is not about what is going on in each other’s lives—rather it is about what is going on in your life. It is about letting God shine the light on you. Sometimes the director will share portions of her life with you if it will be beneficial to your growth. 

I love this ministry and the privilege that I have to meet with people who are seeking after God with all the heart, soul, mind, and strength. It is such a joy to see people grow into their true selves. I have been meeting with people in various locations over the past few years and now I am excited to report that I have an office located on our property. When Bruce and I bought this land seven years ago we prayed over the land that it would bring peace and healing to anyone that God brings to us in this place. This is still my prayer and I am happy that I can continue as a spiritual director on this land.

So if meeting with a spiritual director is something that sounds beneficial to you or if you know of someone who is looking for a spiritual director, my door is open. May God richly bless you in the new year.

Cathy

Cathy Crawford

cathyc0914@gmail.com

(360) 852-6882

Why Don't You Write Me?

Last night when I laid my head down on my pillow I was feeling a bit discouraged. So as I often do I asked God to come to me and bring hope and compassion to me while I slept. Now I know that when I ask God to meet me in the middle of the night, I am always hoping that I well have sweet dreams and be refreshed when I wake. However, that is usually not what actually happen. Very often I will have a dream that wakes me up and then I am wide awake. Being awake is a good thing but I resist when it is 2:00 AM. So I woke up from a dream that I was having and in the dream I was sitting with a friend who was reading my journal and weeping over my life. I have learned from these experiences that it is best to have a conversation with God and ask for insight about my life rather than be frustrated about my inability to fall back to sleep. This is another way that I have been learning to listen to God in my life. As I lay there in bed listening I felt the presence of the Lord and saw that the compassionate friend was a representation of God. I was very comforted by this insight. I tend to not show myself much compassion or allow others to either.

So what did this dream tell me? As I reflected on how I felt in the dream it was clear that I felt, not just listened to but really heard. The friend in my dream was looking at my life with me and saw my pain. I felt the love and compassion of God in that dream.  

Then after much reflection I realized that there was a song running through my head. This also happens often to me during these times. I used to just get annoyed when this occurred because it seems like background noise or racket. But since this has happen so often to me, I have learned to listen instead and ask God why I would be hearing this song right now. Maybe God is trying to tell me something.

The song that I heard was written by, Paul Simon to his wife back in 1970 when they were apart from one another. The name of the song is Why Don’t You Write Me. This statement is repeated over and over in the song. I felt as if God were asking me to get up and write my thoughts back to God. I had been listening and now it was time to respond. I thought about what tomorrow would be like without rest so instead I waited for sleep to come again.

Writing is hard work. I enjoy writing because I gain insight and wisdom through the process. I resist writing because it is hard work. I worry too much about whether anyone will read what I write. So this blog is an act of obedience to answer the call of God saying to me, why don’t you write me?

When I was a child my parents had me say a prayer before bed:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

God bless…

This is an okay prayer for a small child but as we grow into maturity with God it is vital that we learn to listen as well. God speaks to us in a variety of ways. God is everywhere! I so long to hear from the Maker of my soul, and yet I am a lazy listener. Jesus went around from town to town and spoke truth to the multitudes and when he was finished he would say who ever has ears let them hear.

God give us eyes to see you, ears to hear you, and a heart that understands.