This morning I attended a Memorial Service for fallen law
enforcement officers. Nine years ago my brother-in-law, Brad, was killed in the
line of duty. Going to this yearly service always brings back many memories of
times past. So many of these memories are painful because the ceremony itself is a
reminder of Brad’s memorial service. There are bagpipes playing Amazing Grace,
Taps, Roll Call of the fallen officers, and a 21 gun salute. All of these
sights and sounds bring back the sharp reality of Brad’s death and the deep
sadness we feel from losing him.
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| Brad and Bruce |
After we left the service Bruce and I went out to lunch and
reminisced of happier times with Brad. Bruce asked me what my favorite memory
of Brad was and I could not name just one. Brad was a very warmhearted man. He
had a way of making anyone feel valued in his presence. I had many meaningful
conversations with him over the years and enjoyed being with him greatly. He
was also a very funny man as well. He knew how to take a situation and create
humor that brought life and light-heartedness to all. So most of the time that
I reflect on Brad, it is with a smile on my face.
Brad was a peaceful man. This made him an excellent officer
because he knew that his duty was to be a catalyst for peace in his community.
On the night that he died, he was caught in a domestic situation that had gone
from hostile to violent. So much suffering occurred that night for everyone
that was there. All of the officers at the scene were seeking a peaceful way to
steer the actions of a volatile man in a way that would end in safety and
peace. Unfortunately, this is not what happened and many hearts were broken
that night. Brad lost his life that night and for those of us that knew him and
loved him, a little piece of us
died with him.
I am thankful for Brad’s life here on earth. He lives on in
the lives of his family. His little grandson, and namesake, Bradley was there
today sitting on his dad’s lap. He never had the chance to know his grampa. He
will grow up hearing about his grampa and the life that his grampa lived and
the sacrificial way that he died. He will know his grampa through the memories
of his family. Each member of Brad’s family carries a piece of him in their
hearts and so he lives on in us.
Not long after Brad died, my daughter, Emily, wrote a song
that pretty much says what we feel. I can’t listen to this song without
shedding a tear. Here are the lyrics to the song:
Without You
Daddy I’m hurting,
And the tears still flow.
Nothing’s that easy,
Cause I miss you so.
Child so precious,
I swaddled in blankets.
I never imagined,
You’d leave us so soon.
It’s not that easy to pretend that life is grand,
When we’re still hurting.
And though I try to see the brighter side,
It’s hard to do without you.
Without you.
Without you.
Cause were still getting used to life without you.
Brother I’m trying,
To keep them together.
But the sheep seem to scatter,
When the Shepherd goes home.
And grampa I’m sorry,
That I never knew you.
Cause I was a baby,
When you passed away.
It’s not that easy to pretend that life is grand,
When we’re still hurting.
And though I try to see the brighter side,
It’s hard to do without you.
Without you.
Without you.
Cause were still getting used to life without you.
Still missing you Brad, and feeling cheated by a life cut short...
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