Courageous living!

     Back in the seventies, when I was a high school student, we had to choose a major for our high school years. I don't think highs schools do that anymore. I chose Fine Arts as my major. I couldn't believe that I could choose to study the arts and get away with it. I loved all of the performing arts and being involved in music and drama made school an enjoyable experience for me. I felt most alive when I was singing and dancing and playing sports. These activities have always been in my life in one way or another. One of those ways has been through my children.

     My daughter, Emily, has been writing songs and singing them since she was a little girl. She has been given the gift of song. I love to listen to her share her latest creations because they give me a glimpse into her heart. She is a very soulful person and expresses the depth of her inner life in her music. Being her mother, I have had the privilege of seeing her grow as a person and as an artist. 

     The life of an artist is challenging on many levels. We live in a world of pragmatism and judgment. So choosing to open your life up through artistic expression can seem foolish to some. We have all heard the term "starving artist" and so many young artists are nipped in the bud because of the odds of financial success. 

     I believe that being successful is more than monetary gain. Don't get me wrong, we all need to find ways to support ourselves through hard work and determination. For an artist this is also true. I have heard that to become good at any skill you need to invest 10,000 hours of practice. So I have great respect for people that stick to their craft long enough to become a true artist. Emily, you are a true artist and a true gift to me. 

     I have always challenged my children to listen to themselves and to live from their true hearts. I believe that every person alive has something inside of themselves that the world needs. It is our responsibility as fellow travelers to help each other figure out what that gift is and then to cheer each other on with our love and support.

   

 I am so excited to share Emily's new music video with all of you. This is a song off of her new CD entitled, Loving Like Fools. 

    

Here, in her own words, is the history of this song:

Did You Ever Love Me

This song remains one that is the most dear to my heart,  perhaps because it feels so exposing and vulnerable. I wrote this song in the midst of deep heartache. I’d just broken up with the guy that I thought could be my forever, but knew deep down should never be. I knew that breaking up was the right and necessary thing to do, but as we can all attest, the right thing is rarely the easiest one in these instances. As I wrote this I couldn’t help but wondering, hoping, that maybe, just maybe he’d show up at my door ready to change, to be the man that I needed. But days went by, then weeks and all I was left with were questions and missing puzzle pieces, that left me brokenhearted, wondering what, if any of it was ever real at all.

Here is the link to the video, take a listen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8q_fRwA9l8


The completed album will be released on Friday December 4th. She wrote these songs while working through a painful break up. So this music is written from the heart about life, love, and the risk and rewards of relationships!
     It takes great courage to live from your true self. So thank you to all artists that risk living in a vulnerable space so that the world can receive beautiful works of art. Music and art, song and dance, and storytelling are what make life interesting!

     

What Do You Look For In A Leader?

     Over the past few days I have listened to interviews with a former President of the United States, Jimmy Carter, and a man seeking to become the next President of the United States, Donald Trump. I couldn’t help be notice the extreme contrast of these two men.

Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God…

      Jimmy Carter’s life started out in the rural south on a peanut farm run by his dad. He grew up in an African American community and his childhood friends were African Americans. He learned at a very young age about inequality and this developed his character for life. He was a one term President that boasts of being a President of peace. His claim to fame is not as a great politician. He is a man of deep compassion, faith and peace. This is clearly seen in his post presidency life. Jimmy has dedicated his life in the service of others in such humanitarian efforts as Habitat for Humanity, and in 1982 he established The Carter Center, that has had a global impact on eradicating human disease and suffering throughout the world. Jimmy has also helped to negotiate peace in countries around the world.  In 2002, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his work. He has lived an exemplary life from his deep convictions of faith. When I listen to him speak about his life I hear a man of humility and love for his God, his family, and the world. His life can be defined as a life of service to humanity and his desire to alleviate suffering where he can.   

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God…

   

  Donald Trump’s life started out in New York City. He grew up under the influence of his father, a successful real estate developer. Donald attended private schools and learned from a very young age to desire a life of power and wealth. As a young man he was groomed to become a successful businessman while working for his father. In 1973, his company was accused of violating the Fair Housing Act by refusing to rent to African Americans. Donald Trump has had a global impact through his development of Resorts, Casinos, Hotels, and his own Trump line of products. All of these investments are targeted for people of privilege. When I listen to Mr. Trump boast of his accomplishments, he likes to emphasize his power and influence. He talks about his ability to get things done. He wants to intimidate the world by having a stronger military force. His solution for world peace is through power and intimidation rather than negotiation. His style of leadership exemplifies the use power to get what you want. I don’t hear him talk about relieving suffering in this country or in any other part of the world. He is a businessman and he thinks like a businessman. His slogan is “Make America Great Again.”

So what makes America great?

We often hear of America being a great nation because of our freedom. Yes, we are free is many ways. We are free to spend our lives seeking wealth and fame. We are also free to choose a life of service to others. We have these choices. However, many Americans are living in poverty or near poverty so they do not have these choices. Their lives are focused on putting food on the table and a roof over their heads. We have many problems in this country and so it is vital that we have leaders who care for the people struggling in our nation. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. I am looking to support leaders who lead with their heads and their hearts. If we want to be a great nation and an example to the world then we need to take a good long look at how we are caring for our own. The world is watching.

 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.

Ending the Cold War In Relationships!

Every day, somewhere in the world, an incident occurs that we know as a hit and run. Usually the incident is an accident but there are also occasions when the hit was intentional. When a person causes harm or death by striking someone with their vehicle, it is lawful to stop and exchange information with one another. The right course of action is to restore peace to one another and to make restitution for the damages that have occurred. So why do people chose to run? I think that the primary reason is out of fear. When you find yourself at fault in a situation it can be extremely difficult to take responsibility for your actions, it's much easier to run.

I have found that this can also describe what happens in relationships at times. Have you ever experienced a hit and run type of relationship? Have you ever had someone that you love hurl accusations and abuses toward you, and then cut you off? Have you been told that your point of view is not relevant or welcomed? Or maybe you are the person who has done the hitting. What this creates is a personal Cold War between people.  

The term Cold War, describes tension without large scale fighting. The Cold War began just two short years after World War II. The Soviet Union and the United States were allies in defeating the Nazis. Unfortunately, the relationship between these two countries deteriorated quickly. The reason for this split was because of many things, but I think that one of the most powerful reasons was fear. Both countries wanted power and control. The Americans were afraid of communism and the Russians were afraid of the atomic bomb. Germany became divided politically between the communist east and the democratic west. This caused the erection of the Berlin wall in 1961. This was East Germany’s attempt at keeping people from fleeing the oppressive communist regime and finding freedom in the west. The Cold War lasted for more than forty years. What finally ended the Cold War was for Mikhail Gorbachev to initiate a series of summit meetings with Ronald Reagan. These two world leaders were able to work together to create a better world. Communism began to tumble in Europe, the Berlin wall was torn down and the reduction of nuclear weapons began. Without the willingness for both parties to come to the table and talk, there could be no possibility for peace. Mikhail Gorbachev opened the door for significant healing and change to begin in the world by his willingness to sit down and talk.

Life is difficult and relationships can get messy at times. I think that life is to short to allow years to go by with unresolved conflict between family and friends. So if you find yourself in a hit and run situation or an ongoing Cold War, what can you do? If you are the one that has been hit then you can move forward by way of forgiveness and a willingness to listen. Chances are that there is fault on both sides of the table.  If you are the one who has run away, then you can come back to the table and find restoration in the relationship. When we choose to turn toward one another, we find peace. When we run away from each other we erect walls that divide. These walls create much pain and suffering. The sad truth is that there can be no end to a Cold War without both parties wanting peace and restoration. It takes courage to end a Cold War. You have to be willing to honestly look at yourself.

What people remember most about the end of the Cold War are the famous words of Ronald Reagan, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” If you find yourself with the power to tear down a wall that is causing division in a relationship with someone whom you love, then I would encourage you, by all means to tear down the wall and end the Cold War!

I am reminded of the description of the action of love found in the Bible:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails!

We do not need to live our lives controlled by fear. 

Perfect love casts out fear. 

So if love is present, then there is hope!

Remembering Brad

   

      Eleven years ago today, I was giving a birthday party for my sister and brother-in-law at my house in Burbank, California. After the candles on the birthday cake had been blown out, the phone rang. It was our niece calling from Vancouver, Washington to tell us that, Bruce's brother, Brad had been in a terrible accident. Brad was actually killed in the line of duty as a law enforcement officer. That day broke many hearts. 

     So now every year on July 30th we are reminded of how much we miss Brad and of the hole that was created in our hearts through one man's act of rage and violence.

     This morning Bruce and I went out to the crash site to remember Brad and pray for healing. The violence that occurred on that site affected many people. This memorial was created by the family that lives at this site. They did not know Brad but felt compelled to

honor him in this way. Today as we were sitting on the log that is placed in front of the cross, the woman that lives there came out and talked to us. She told us that the neighborhood changed after Brad's murder. The people of this quiet neighborhood were deeply shaken. Murder and violence create lasting trauma. 

     Brad was 49 years old when he died. It is strange when someone dies an untimely death. He will never be older than 49 in our minds. We on the other hand, keep getting older which reminds us of how much life Brad has missed. I wish that he was still with us, growing old with us; sharing life with his family and friends. Instead, he lives in our memories and in our hearts. It is good to remember!

This photo was taken a month before Brad died, at his son's wedding. This is his granddaughter, Darby. She just celebrated her 13th birthday. I wish that he could have been here to celebrate this milestone with us. He really loved his grandkids!