Ending the Cold War In Relationships!

Every day, somewhere in the world, an incident occurs that we know as a hit and run. Usually the incident is an accident but there are also occasions when the hit was intentional. When a person causes harm or death by striking someone with their vehicle, it is lawful to stop and exchange information with one another. The right course of action is to restore peace to one another and to make restitution for the damages that have occurred. So why do people chose to run? I think that the primary reason is out of fear. When you find yourself at fault in a situation it can be extremely difficult to take responsibility for your actions, it's much easier to run.

I have found that this can also describe what happens in relationships at times. Have you ever experienced a hit and run type of relationship? Have you ever had someone that you love hurl accusations and abuses toward you, and then cut you off? Have you been told that your point of view is not relevant or welcomed? Or maybe you are the person who has done the hitting. What this creates is a personal Cold War between people.  

The term Cold War, describes tension without large scale fighting. The Cold War began just two short years after World War II. The Soviet Union and the United States were allies in defeating the Nazis. Unfortunately, the relationship between these two countries deteriorated quickly. The reason for this split was because of many things, but I think that one of the most powerful reasons was fear. Both countries wanted power and control. The Americans were afraid of communism and the Russians were afraid of the atomic bomb. Germany became divided politically between the communist east and the democratic west. This caused the erection of the Berlin wall in 1961. This was East Germany’s attempt at keeping people from fleeing the oppressive communist regime and finding freedom in the west. The Cold War lasted for more than forty years. What finally ended the Cold War was for Mikhail Gorbachev to initiate a series of summit meetings with Ronald Reagan. These two world leaders were able to work together to create a better world. Communism began to tumble in Europe, the Berlin wall was torn down and the reduction of nuclear weapons began. Without the willingness for both parties to come to the table and talk, there could be no possibility for peace. Mikhail Gorbachev opened the door for significant healing and change to begin in the world by his willingness to sit down and talk.

Life is difficult and relationships can get messy at times. I think that life is to short to allow years to go by with unresolved conflict between family and friends. So if you find yourself in a hit and run situation or an ongoing Cold War, what can you do? If you are the one that has been hit then you can move forward by way of forgiveness and a willingness to listen. Chances are that there is fault on both sides of the table.  If you are the one who has run away, then you can come back to the table and find restoration in the relationship. When we choose to turn toward one another, we find peace. When we run away from each other we erect walls that divide. These walls create much pain and suffering. The sad truth is that there can be no end to a Cold War without both parties wanting peace and restoration. It takes courage to end a Cold War. You have to be willing to honestly look at yourself.

What people remember most about the end of the Cold War are the famous words of Ronald Reagan, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” If you find yourself with the power to tear down a wall that is causing division in a relationship with someone whom you love, then I would encourage you, by all means to tear down the wall and end the Cold War!

I am reminded of the description of the action of love found in the Bible:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails!

We do not need to live our lives controlled by fear. 

Perfect love casts out fear. 

So if love is present, then there is hope!